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musesanta ([personal profile] musesanta) wrote2012-01-07 09:31 pm

for aya_chan (if I'm not mistaken)

Sorry I'm a little spacey at the moment. But this is the fic. So sorry I misunderstood, and I hope you still like.

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It’s impossible to be completely honest with Suzumiya Haruhi. How do you tell a firebrand, “You know, you’re practically god, you control time, space, parallel continuums, you can do anything you want.”? How do you tell her that her absurd club has a real, true-to-life, ESPer, time-traveler, alien, and me?

So I’m not honest with her. Neither are Nagato, Asahina, nor Koizumi. And I suppose we’re all good at it, or Haruhi is so full of herself that she never notices that we are all putting on an act for her.

It is easy not to tell her things, to convince her that all is right in the world, as long as god is in my high school and nagging me. It is easy to lie.

“So, Kyon, you have plans for the Christmas holiday?” Haruhi’s chirpy voice came behind me.

“Yeah,” I said. Besides enduring dinner with my family, I had no plans.

“What about the other days?”

“Yeah. Family vacation. Singapore. A few days of shopping.” I planned to stay home and finish the latest Final Fantasy.

“What about New Year’s?”

“Homework.” That was somewhat true.

“Boring.”

“None of your business.”

“Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?” she asked.

“It’s not yet the New Year, Haruhi,” I said. I lay my head on the desk. I did not want to talk to her anymore.

“Who says you have to wait until the New Year to make the resolutions?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” That was true.

Haruhi harrumphed and tossed her head.

The last school day before the holidays went by as normally as they did in my life with Haruhi. Damage control, cost prevention, preservation of Asahina’s dignity, chess with Koizumi, companionable silence with Nagato. I went through the motions like normal. But I suppose I went through them like a ghost, for they all asked me the same question:

“Are you alright?”

I answered them all the same way: “Yeah.” But I wasn’t.

“Why all the long faces?” Haruhi herself asked, suddenly barging in on us.

“Nothing, nothing at all!’ Koizumi spoke for us, smiling broadly.

She glared at all of us, then glared the longest at me. “Whatever. Kyon! Come with me!” Haruhi ordered.

I dutifully rose and followed her.

Haruhi swung her satchel over her shoulder and marched. I dragged my feet behind her.

She marched out of the school premises and off to the street.

“Kyon! Are you still following?” she asked without turning her head.

“Yeah, Haruhi, still here.” I sighed.

She marched several blocks, never looking at me, keeping the cadence. Used to her speed, I managed to keep up, but even this was a longer distance than she usually walked on a school day.

It was chilly. After all, it was the day before school stopped. The pace she kept only made the sting of the winter air worse.

She did not turn to glare at me. She did not talk with me, loudly or otherwise. But when I dared to slacken, she stopped and waited for me. She walked past the school, through the sidewalks of the larger streets, until we reached the lanes with the shops and cafes.

After around half an hour of walking through the shopping district, she turned and headed to the park.

“Kyon….”

“Still here, El Presidente,” I said as I caught my breath.

She said nothing more. I saw her clench and unclench her fists.

Finally Haruhi stopped. It was so sudden, I bumped into her, my nose hitting her head. She toppled, but I caught her before she fell.

As she regained her footing, she turned and faced me. “Kyon.” She held my cheeks and swung my head to face her.

She slapped me.

I immediately grabbed her wrist, gripping it tightly as I glared at her. “What the hell did I do to you now?”

But Haruhi glared back without a word, her mouth curved downward, her teeth clenched.

“Liar!” she said.

I stepped back. Did she just add telepathy to her many weird powers? How did she know? How much did she know?

She raised her face. Her mouth curled downward again. Her teeth were clenched. She panted.

“You’re moving. Far away from here.”

I breathed deeply, relieved. At least that’s all it was. But, yeah, it was a big deal. “Who told you?”

“The advisor.”

I breathed again. At least it was none of the weirdoes of our club. “It’s not decided yet, but my parents are seriously considering it,” I told her.

“You didn’t tell me.”

There’s plenty I don’t tell you, Kami-sama. The other SOS members do know, however, since they have to keep the balance of the universe without me. I had hoped I did not have to tell her I was leaving. I had wanted the teacher to give it as a statement of fact on the first day back.

“Stupid lackey!” Haruhi screeched. “How am I supposed to run the club without you?”

I watched the air and space around her. Several extra breezes blew the leaves off the trees. Dark clouds began to appear in the sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The winter air chilled me more.

I took a deep breath, and remained standing silently before her.

“Who’s going to fix our website? Who’s going to get my things? Who’s going to deal with the other clubs? Who’s going to get my lunch?”

The winter breezes froze me. Snow fell like rain.

I sighed but said nothing.

Haruhi grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Why aren’t you saying anything, Kyon!”

Why? Because I didn’t know what to say. I did not want to stay where she was. I did not want to leave. I did not know what I really wanted.

I just knew that my life is less boring with Haruhi around. A part of me did not want to go back to a bored life.

“I’m making a resolution! I’m going to make sure Kyon stays here as my classmate!”

I stared at her. I gulped. My eyes grew wide. Then I rolled them. “Haruhi. Resolutions are about something you’re going to change in yourself.”

She wrapped her arms around me, and rested her head over my chest. “I don’t care!” she cried. “You’re not going away! I’ll make sure you don’t!”

I’m sure you’ll be able to manage it, Haruhi. On a non-god level, I’ll try to talk to my parents again. I smiled sadly, resigned to my fate, as I patted her head.

“You don’t want me around. You can’t stand my guts,” I said, flatly.

“You don’t believe that yourself,” she replied.

My jaw opened, but no words came out, no matter how I tried.

“Kyon, you won’t ever lie to me about something that important again, you hear?” she declared as she tightened her embrace.

I kept my hand over her head, leaned my head over hers. Her shampoo smelled nice. My other hand I placed over her waist as I drew her close.

I made my New Year’s resolution a little early, right then.

I still can’t tell her everything I know. But I resolve to be more honest.

She deserves that much.

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Sorry I'm late, and happy new year. ^^v